Unless you have had your head in the sand for the last 10 years, we are all very aware of the bullying problems seen in schools and colleges. We are all saddened to turn on the news to see stories of teen suicides, school shootings and violence caused by bullying.
As parents we all gasp, thank the Lord it is not our child, then sit down and talk to our kids about being nice. We tell them we will not put up with bullying and why can’t you just all get along?
Well I want to bring up a serious situation that I have been watching online in the last few months, that really worries me. It is online bullying!!!
And guess what?
It is not kids who are doing it. It is adults, educated business owners and people respected in their communities. It is 30 year old men and women who are name calling, making fun of competitors and banning people from secret clubs online. They are groups of online friends teaming up to make a point and virtually laying a beating on a person.
Well I just want to give my 2 cents on the topic:
For anyone who has taken my class, you all know that I do not like confrontation. I don’t post about politics, religion ect. I make it a point to keep my personal views out of my business. I am known to unfollow people who cause drama.
I know my strategy does not work for everyone and some businesses need to be out there.I am not one bit against standing up for our beliefs. I also am a strong believer in being who you are and not changing for anyone.
BUT
I also believe that we can’t expect our children to learn to get along. To learn to be caring, loving, accepting people unless we model the same behavior.
And if that doesn’t make you think twice, maybe you should stop and think how those actions reflect on your business, employees and industry. Remember the person who is being the bully is not fooling anyone. We all see it. We remember it and it will affect how people react to you in the long run. It may not affect your business initially but eventually it will come back and bite you in the wallet.
“What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life?”
― Lynette Mather
Thanks for posting Jennifer. I have been wanting to write this for days. It makes being online feel icky. I also notice thast some take to calling others out on social media. Would they do the same in a large conference room full of people?
Be supportive and positive and we shall all get the same in return.
I just can’t believe how much of it I am seeing right now. Makes me sad!!
It amazes me that people think online conversations aren’t “real” and don’t hurt people like in real life. Just because you are online does not mean you can check all your social graces at the door! If you wouldn’t say it to someone in person then don’t say it online. And really…what happened to “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?!?
Yikes… Haven’t really noticed this, but it’s so cowardice! I think texting is similar. People just write things they wouldn’t say to your face.
You are so right Jennifer! My parents always told me “if you don’ t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”. I can’t tell you how often I am grateful that I was taught this way and love it when others feel the same.
I definately feel the “bullying” in one of the social media groups I belong to. I just ignore it and choose to take the high road. I agree “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”. I can’t see how “bashing” or “blocking” other business people (whether local, or not) can be in any way beneficial. You only get one chance to make a good first impression. If a person acts out on social media, I can only imagine what they say face-to-face. Another great post! I love to see people speaking out and taking a stand!
Bravo! I hate confrontation as well and can’t handle myself in a debate. It’s not comfortable for me at all. However, I will defend myself if attacked and will teach my daughters to do the same. Instead of feeling like running away from a bully or being defensive however, I do try to stand up. I once told someone in a chat group that they were being bullies about parenting beliefs, this was in a chat group where I had been friends with women for 8 years, and the moderator asked me to leave because she found me using the term bully offensive. I was welcome to return if I didn’t use the word bully. A bully is a person who deliberately, maliciously aims to hurt someone. It’s not accidental. It’s not by being human and having a bad day and saying something that hurts someone’s feelings. it’s disrespectfully and willfully trying to put someone “in their place” for being different. It’s intentionally hurting someone for sport. This is not okay at any age, in any part of life, online or for real. I did not return to that group. I’ve found other ways to communicate with my friends. It hurts me to lose a big social circle online, but I couldn’t participate anymore if calling bullying out was frowned upon. This is such an important topic. I’ve been bullied in corporate work too — so much so I had a letter put in my human resources file for elevating an issue where I was manipulated by my female boss — the letter said I was causing problems unnecessarily. Oh – we’ve come so far. A bit farther to go.
Thankfully, I haven’t seen anything that I would define as bullying in my on-line world but I do see a lot of rude comments and passive-agressive personalities pop up on line, nothing different from real life which is why I guess bullies are going to exist on line. Trolls, and haters and now bullies, I guess they all exist out there. I agree with you Jennifer, as adults we need to set an example for the younger people. I spent 18 years teaching my son that bullies will only exist in your life, if you let them. The sooner you stand up to the bullies, the quicker you remove their perceived power over you.